Written by Liz Lake
Produced by Cameron Roach
Directed by Richard Signy
A month has passed and it's a sad day for Conrad and Amber as they bury their dead son, Pundarik. Meanwhile, Tanya sheds a secret tear for the loss of her true son. If Tanya thought that Pundarik's death would mean Amber disappearing from her and Conrad's life forever, she is sorely mistaken. Amber's not going anywhere. With the funeral out of the way, Tanya and Conrad start looking for a nanny for baby Troy. After some rigorous interviewing, they find the perfect candidate in Miss Katie Jones! But what is Katie's fixation with trying to peek at Conrad's bare bum? One traumatic flashback later and we discover that the only clue Katie has to her rapist's identity is the distinctive tattoo she remembers seeing on his rear end.
Its time to celebrate! Roger and Jackie have tied the knot and the team and their wives flock to the beautiful garden wedding reception. Bruno doesn't want his wife showing him up with her eclectic fashion sense and makes Lucy change before they leave to join the others at the reception. As the assembled guests look on, Roger makes a moving speech about his new wife and it's obvious that they are head over heels in love.
Shannon and Harley have moved into their new pink pad and life is looking rosy for Shannon who promises to be his perfect footballer's wife. Starting as she means to go on, Shannon offers to host Hazel's upcoming birthday party. She may be determined to prove herself to the other wives, but she's soon regretting her enthusiasm when early attempt to cook end in complete disaster. She even visits a sommelier in an attempt to better herself, but she's still none the wiser and when Harley finds her distraught over a burnt meal, he takes her to top restaurant, Notting Grill, as a treat. At the restaurant, they meet the owner, Anthony Worral Thompson and enlist his help to prepare the feast.
Noah has found new meaning in his life - he has joined the Church of the Found who promise that they will be able to cure him of his homosexuality. The leader Tim, a reformed gay man, proudly introduces his own wife Sarah and daughter, Bethany - proof that he now lives a straight life. Deciding to follow Tim's example, Noah surprises the rest of the lads by tagging along when they go to Stringfellows. But however hard he tries to concentrate on eying up the ladies, he can't stop lusting after the fit bouncers. Realising that he might be setting his sights too high, he asks Bethany out on a date.
While Katie whiles away her sleepless nights practising with her meat cutters, Harley has his own suspicions about the identity of the rapist - he's convinced that it's Bruno. Katie is delighted when she finds the lads where she wanted them - in the shower - and grips her meat cutters with intent. But to her horror, she notices that all of the players have identical tattoos on their bums! Fleeing, she runs straight into Harley who agrees to help her as long as she throws the meat cutters away.
The wives flock to Hazel's party, even Lucy turns up, despite Bruno ordering her to stay away. Over at Conrad's, the lads are having a get-together, giving Harley the opportunity to prove to Katie that he is definitely not the rapist - his bum is tattoo free because he's shit-scared of needles. Bruno is livid when he hears that Lucy has defied him and makes a surprise visit to Hazel's party. Hiding her shock and fear, Lucy prepares to leave but Hazel won't hear of it and gives Bruno his marching orders. A cheerful Lucy arrives home to find that Bruno has cooked up a harsh punishment for her. He's having a bonfire in the back garden, with all of her clothes! That'll stop her going out without his permission.
Poor Amber is still stricken with grief over Pundarik's death and in her desperation, goes to his nursery to find something that smells of him. The facts around her son's light complexion begin to make sense when she finds a bottle of fake tan hidden in his belongings.